If Apple’s Q1 Earnings Call Were Scripted By Me

(phone ringing)
(click)

Tim Cook:
“Good morning, everyone. Tim Cook here.
$74.6 billion revenue
74.5 million iPhones sold
One quarter”

(brief pause)

“Bitches”

(dial tone)


For what actually happened, check out Jason Snell’s “Apple announces record profits, earnings, and iPhone sales” at the wonderful Six Colors.


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