If Apple’s Q1 Earnings Call Were Scripted By Me

(phone ringing)
(click)

Tim Cook:
“Good morning, everyone. Tim Cook here.
$74.6 billion revenue
74.5 million iPhones sold
One quarter”

(brief pause)

“Bitches”

(dial tone)

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For what actually happened, check out Jason Snell’s “Apple announces record profits, earnings, and iPhone sales” at the wonderful Six Colors.

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