Install Happiness

In browsing my Twitter feed last night, I came across this Instagram photo from a phenomenal photographer named James Duncan Davidson (@duncan). And this particular image just spoke to me. Not only from the Apple nerd part of my brain (let’s see how many of you get that), but from a life perspective as well. Think about it. Why do we put up with all of this negativity? Why not just get rid of it? Delete it, if you will.

Photo by James Duncan Davidson

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Worth It

Parenting is hard. Period.

It’s unbelievably frustrating sometimes. “Why won’t you eat your breakfast Brian?” “Caroline, why the attitude this morning?” “Wow, do you guys need some sleep!” “Can I have some candy, daddy?” “Can I have some candy, daddy?” “Daddy, can I have some candy?”

“No, Brian, no!”

But there are some times where the unexpected happens. Where you are reminded why we (parents) do what we do. And don’t go completely batshit insane. One of those moments happened this morning.

Like most mornings, Brian is difficult to get out of bed (kind of like his mother, I might add). Caroline was stressing about her hair (new “do” with bangs and all that). And I was just trying to survive that hectic 50 minutes between the time they wake up and the time I drop Brian off at school.

I finally got Caroline’s hair somewhat styled (if you can call it that). But Brian came downstairs and started his pout routine because we were out of his favorite cereal and he didn’t want the cereal (which I know he also likes, btw) that was left. So, he drags himself upstairs with the “I’m just not going to eat” mantra. Fine, whatever. They’ve got breakfast at school if he really wants it. So I’m bracing for a fight to get out the door in time for Caroline to catch her bus and me get Brian to his school.

Well, they remarkably got their collective stuff together and hopped in the car at 6:54am. Two minutes to get to the bus stop. We’re good to go. When we got there and the bus was almost there, Caroline leaned up front to give me a kiss. I told her to have a good day and that I loved her and I would get her from the bus stop this afternoon. She got out and started walking toward the bus.

Brian practically leaps in the front seat. He presses the button to roll the window down and sticks his head out the window.

“Carowine!” And no, that’s not a misspelling. That’s how Brian still says Caroline’s name.

She turns her head.

“I love you!” Brian says.

When hearing that, Caroline runs back over and gives Brian a hug and a kiss as he hangs out the passenger side window.

That’s when you know it’s worth it!

Over-Analyzing

So, it’s been a while since I’ve really dug into a blog post. I’ve got several that I’ve been marinating on for a bit. One even that a friend of mine asked me to write (I haven’t forgotten about that one, but the way!). Just haven’t had the opportunity to sit down and write them. Sometimes, it even comes down to not writing them as it’s not actually how I’m feeling in real life. It’s organic, really.

Anyway, I’ve realized something about myself in these past weeks. I mean, I’ve always known it. But, it’s come out to shine here recently. I analyze things. A lot. In fact, I analyze them too much. I think. See, I’m going to be questioning that sentence, that statement, for the next hour or so. It’s a sickness really.

It goes like this. Let’s say someone tells me something. How did they say it? Did they say everything they wanted to in that statement? Was there something else to say on the subject? Were they hiding something? What did they really mean to say? Are they trying to spare my feelings for some reason? Is there some hidden meaning? Did I miss that hidden meaning?

See what I mean?

There’s been a lot of thinking on my part recently. A lot of things to mull over. A lot of things to consider. Trying to figure out how to move forward on several fronts.

So, I analyze.

And analyze.

And analyze.

Until it drives me utterly insane. And I’m pretty sure it drives Jayme insane, too. And so I worry about that.

And the cycle continues…